I’m a week late in writing this, but he was a week and a half late in getting here, and if I’ve learned anything in this process, it’s that time works differently now. My sweet little boy is one year old! The last year has been the quickest and slowest year of my life. Some moments have required me to be so completely awake and aware and focused (even in the midst of severe sleep deprivation & hormones) that I feel I lived a year in each day.
When I was pregnant, I spent the year counting weeks, celebrating major milestones. Twelve weeks,twenty weeks, thirty-six weeks, forty weeks….Forty one and a half weeks. Then, in the first few days, I remember counting the day out in hours. Twenty four nearly sleepless hours at a time, I worried and worked at nursing and changing and learning this tiny human’s rhythms and cries and smell and softness and needs. Each minute my love grew, but it took months for the love to be bigger than the worry.
Eventually, the hours became weeks and the weeks became months that I counted and celebrated. I wrote letters to him on each of the month markers–recapping our adventures, his likes, his learning, his life. In the last year, I’m amazed by how much he’s grown; how much he’s changed. He’s my favorite. I tell him this every day. He’s my favorite smell. My favorite sound. My favorite child (I can get away with this now :). My favorite little boy in all the world.
His favorites are swinging at the park. Playing chase around the furniture and hide and seek. Tractors–anything with wheels is a tractor, and he loves them. Toasted Nori strips & scrambled eggs & lentils & oranges & avocado toast. He loves mama in the evening, the moment when daddy walks in the door in the afternoon, being outside in nature. He needs a dog, they make him laugh every time he gets close to one. He’s fascinated by light & loves learning how things work. We’re fascinated by watching his mind work and in love with the light he brings to our lives.
Happy birthday to my sweet angel. The past year of my life has been the most expansive, most enlightening, most challenging, most awakening, most adventurous, most alive, most everything. I can’t imagine life without him!
This past year was the second year that I finally let go of any remnants of my negative eating habits and fat talk. It’s amazing what this kind of love can do. There’s no time to be negatively self-involved in those ways in my life anymore. This past year has been a time when making healthy living choices has become increasingly important to me. Limiting exposure to chemicals, eating the most nutrient dense foods I can find, slowly saying goodbye to sugar and quickly forgiving myself if I have a food fail day. I want to be the healthiest mother I can be so that I can set an example for my child. I’ve learned so much and lost so much in this journey:
50 pounds to be exact. I’m not exactly my pre-baby shape, but I’m not working out nearly as much as I once did either. I love making time for running and fitness and yoga, but I don’t have the kind of time that I once spent. I could go on about what I’ve learned & the changes I’ve implemented, but I could go on for months. In fact, I do. I’ve started group coaching sessions via facebook/email/& phone. If you want to learn what I’ve learned and make small changes for big results, I’d love to have you in February’s group. Cost is $35, but I’ll cut $10 for any one who wants to join & messages me before Friday: firstname.lastname@example.org.
This year is a year that I have so much planned–for myself, for our family, for my businesses. This year holds so much promise & so much change! Today, my intention of all intentions is to make choices that reflect my hopes instead of fears surrounding these changes. I know that once I was able to start doing this in the last year, things shifted for me as a mom. I felt more present, less frazzled, less worried and worked up over things that really didn’t matter in the end. I’m learning. And loving. Each day. With him.